Friendships at 40

I always make small talk with the cashier at the grocery store. I’ll chat with the taxi driver on the way to the airport. I’ll start a conversation with the parent standing off to the side at a soccer game or the mom sitting alone in a mall.

I just find it’s easier to get through this life if you’re pleasant.

And because I’m an inclusive person, I have a diverse group of people who call me a friend. I think it’s important to open yourself up to a large array of life opportunities. Although I don’t mind chit-chat or keeping the conversation going at a soccer game, as I get older, there is one thing I know for sure.

In my 20s, friendships looked a little different than they do now in my 40s. Friendship, in all its forms, has many variations from when we were little and will often continue to evolve as we age.

I am eternally grateful for these different versions of friendships as they all hold a special place in my heart. Friendship means a bit more to me now. My priorities drastically changed when I becoming a mother. The idea of maintaining some of the more superficial friendships I'd had in my 20s was just too time and energy-consuming. It just felt right no matter how strange and lonely to let them drop away.

Life is to short for fake or onesided friendships!!!

You see, I’m in the thick of life it right now. I have two teens, a husband, and a full-time job with high demands, plus my own small business. On good days, I feel like a hot mess. On bad days, I’m holding it together with duct tape and a smile.

I want to be a good mom and a good partner I don’t have time for games. I can’t spend my few free hours on “friends” who only call when they need something or are passive-aggressive when we have a misunderstanding. I don’t want to compete with other women, in how we look, act, or by success, we may or may not have.

I want to be with women who tell their stories from the deep trenches, the ones where they talk about struggles in their marriages or their fears for their kids. I love the women who openly share their counters are only clean because they shove their stuff in a drawer, or that it's been 2 weeks since a mop it the floor. I need to be with people who don’t cringe when I tell them I faced depression or that I constantly struggle with my relationship with one of my children.

I consider myself a truly lucky woman. I have a friendship that fills me and brings me great joy. We’ve been through the births of our children and the deaths of my parents. We’ve held hands at the funerals of family and friends. We’ve had many hard conversations when honesty no matter how scary was the kindest thing we could offer, and held our tongues when we knew the other just needed to vent.

Only love, acceptance, and a whole lot of tears. Life is short, we never know what tomorrow will bring. I hope you have a friendship like mine that will last a life time.